QUESTIONS TO ASK instead OF “ARE YOU PREGNANT?”

If you’re dying to understand if your friend, acquaintance, or chubby barista at Starbucks is pregnant, you may never ever, not ever ask outright “When are you due?” or “Are you pregnant?”. You may not ask directly if you understand she’s trying, she’s being crazy bitchy, as well as you just discovered a pregnancy band around her waist.

Instead, may I suggest these much more tactful concerns to suss out your answer:

Do you have any type of travel plans for Christmas this year? (or other event about 6 months into the future)

Are you training for a triathlon this summer? (or other ill endurance event)

Do you mind if I smoke? (not sure-fire as well as not going to work in Berkeley)

Would you like some brie?

Would you like a cocktail? I make a extremely great ______

Does this milk/cheese/meat odor rancid to you?

Your hair looks so beautiful as well as thick. Are you utilizing a different shampoo/stylist?

Do you believe you as well as ____ are going to have any type of (more) children? (a completely impolite as well as invasive concern however method way favored to asking if she already is pregnant, count on me!)

Will you assist me put a extremely heavy new satellite meal on my roofing system this weekend?

Would you like to go surfing/snowboarding this weekend? Our rental location has a hot tub too.

Where did you get that lovely shirt? Is that Anthropologie? (or Liz Lange by Target?)

(Say nothing whatsoever as well as ask her friends)

You are positively glowing. (and leave it at that)

I have been asked so numerous times if I was expecting when I wasn’t that I went ahead as well as had a third infant (not the suggested solution, btw) — when I was all dressed up, when I stated no to cheese, as well as when I was drinking water after a number of cocktails. Do not ask if there is a bun in the oven, unless you see the infant crowning. កុំ​គួរសម​អី។

We are both expecting in this photo; I will never look less expecting than this again.